2016 IN REVIEW: MY WORST 15 FILMS OF 2016

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I would personally say that 2016 has been as good or bad a year for films as any other year in recent memory. We have had as much rubbish as we have had brilliance, with a vast majority of films (as per usual) sitting very firmly in the middle of the road.

Though on a separate note, what does seem to get progressively worse every year is the behaviour of people in the actual cinema! Oh, to be able to afford my own personal cinema where children, mobile phones and popcorn can be banned!

As I have stated many times before, I cannot see every film that comes out over the course of a year. I especially cannot see every film at the cinema due to time, money and not having a multiplex in the city that I live in, and this of course will especially apply to bad films.

However, of all the films I have seen that had their UK cinema release date in 2016, here are the very worst 15 films. Time is of course precious, and I would implore all good, honest film lovers to avoid wasting their precious time having to endure these 15 atrocious films!

15. London Has Fallen

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I have no idea why, but films often come in pairs, and back in 2013 we had Olympus Has Fallen and White House Down – films that had essentially the same plot, but the former was stupid, boring rubbish, while the latter was stupid, but tremendous fun. Well, life is often very unfair, and so we get the sequel to Olympus Has Fallen that no one actually asked for, but now it is London that has fallen – but don’t worry an apparently American Gerard Butler will save the day by shouting bad dialogue at those nasty terrorists! The one achievement of London Has Fallen is that it manages to be worse than its predecessor; it is an unbelievably stupid film, that manages to be both casually racist and insult the intelligence of all sentient beings.

To read my full review, click here

14. Gods of Egypt

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Gerard Butler again, and this time it is Alex Proyas’s bonkers and nonsensical ancient action adventure. Many may have this higher on their ‘worst of the year’ lists, but though it most certainly has one of the worst scripts of 2016, where the supposed comic lines are so bad that laughs are at instead of with, there is at least an element of enjoyment that can be found in the film’s narrative incompetence. However, Gerard Butler is of course predictably terrible, and once again demonstrates that his acting range consists of shouting to shouting really loudly (usually in Scottish).

To read my full review, click here

13. The Boss

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No ‘worst of’ list is complete without a Melissa McCarthy film these days, and it gives me no pleasure in saying this as she has proved that she is a talented actress and can be a likeable screen presence, but she needs to stop doing films where she and her husband Ben Falcone are in charge. The Boss is certainly not as repulsive as some of her other films, but it is just painfully boring. It has an extremely lame plot that is excruciatingly predictable, and a script that produces no laughs whatsoever. Sadly, Kristen Bell and Peter Dinklage cannot elevate the extremely lacklustre material they are given.

12. Zoolander 2

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We all remember Zoolander; a very silly, but enjoyable and highly quotable satire on the fashion industry made by the so-called ‘frat pack’ when they were all turning up in films together. Well, that was a long time ago and all actors have moved on since then, or so we thought! This belated sequel that no-one demanded has none of the original’s charm or sense of fun, and is just a lazy, cynical and very boring viewing experience filled with embarrassing cameos. Just ignore this and watch the first film again!

To read my full review, click here

11. Inferno

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Hollywood tends to give us an abundance of unwanted sequels these days, but who the hell demanded another Dan Brown adaptation!?! Well, considering the financial success of the previous two films, I think the answer to that question is pretty obvious! The result is (as expected) a laughably stupid plot with the usual running between famous locations and over explained exposition, as well as one of the most predictable plot ‘twists’ of all time. At least Tom Hanks’ hair is a little better!

To read my full review, click here

10. Criminal

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Wanting to join the list of actors in their twilight years thinking they can forge a career as an action star appears to be Kevin Costner. Many would think that he learnt his lesson with the dull Three Days to Kill, but he hasn’t, and so we have Criminal ­­­– a film that is even worse! The plot is almost as laughable as Costner’s performance, as Costner goes around London with Ryan Reynolds’ subconscious inside him while he beats up a plethora of stereotypical Londoners, while also sort of trying to foil a terrorist plot. Despite its incredibly silly premise, this film takes itself very seriously – now that is criminal!

To read my full review, click here

9. Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie

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From Holiday on the Buses to Mrs. Brown’s Boys: D’Movie, the transition from successful TV series to the big screen is usually not a successful transition, whether or not the TV series was actually any good. Now, I was personally a fan of the TV series, but this belated big screen outing for Pasty and Edina should have been a small screen one-off special, as it is hideously televisual with an embarrassingly terrible story. While the jokes feel tired and the endless list of celebrity cameos make it flirt dangerously with the dark realms of Keith Lemon: The Film!

To read my full review, click here

8. Independence Day: Resurgence

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Let’s just all be clear on one thing; we all know that Independence Day was not a great film, and if analysed carefully could have been right royally torn apart. It was however a thoroughly enjoyable and extremely cheesy blockbuster romp from what now seems like a different era of big budget film making. Resurgence is a sequel that no one wanted and is classic proof that some things should be left alone; it not only lacks the charm and genuine sense of fun of its predecessor, but it has such a terrible story, shoddy script and even worse performances that it makes some of the lower budget b-movies look like epic masterpieces! It will also probably go down in history as the film with the most cringe inducing closing line of all time!

To read my full review, click here

7. Joy

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Right at the very beginning of the year we had a very early strong contender for worst film of the year, and though Joy may not quite be the worst film of 2016 after all, David O. Russell’s film is still one of the worst, but is most definitely the film with the most ironic title of 2016. No ‘joy’ can be found when watching this smug, self-indulgent and ill-disciplined film which alienates and infuriates in equal measure.

To read my full review, click here

6. Fifty Shades of Black

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Now, let’s be honest with one another; Fifty Shades of Grey was utter rubbish for countless reasons, but it was quite funny. So surely to then make a spoof of an already unintentionally quite funny film would prove quite a challenge? Well, Marlon Wayans, who was of course responsible for the horrifically unfunny White Chicks believes he is up to the challenge (no pun intended). Well, what we have are a lot of visual gags that we can see coming (again, no pun intended) and the rest is just lazy, racist and stupidly crude humour that is never funny. In fact, the ‘jokes’ are so bad that Fifty Shades of Black is actually a very cringe inducing viewing experience. The fact is that my two unintentional puns are far funnier than anything in this awful film.

5. Ride Along 2

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Remember Ride Along and how we all laughed at it? Well, of course not, as anyone with half a brain cell either avoided that boring and unfunny buddy movie or just found it painfully boring. Well, for reasons that I am too scared to understand Ride Along made a lot of money and so a depressingly inevitable sequel was always going to happen. Well, it came out this year and it is even more predictable, dull and hideously unfunny than the first one!

To read my full review, click here

4. Cell

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It is a sad fact that these days if a film stars John Cusack, it will not only avoid cinema screens to go straight to DVD shelves, but probably won’t be very good. Well, unfortunately Cell represents a new low in this recent decline. It is adapted from a Stephen King novel and stars Samuel L. Jackson, and that combination produced 1408, which was a decent enough film. Well Cell makes that look like Citizen Kane, as the actors look like they have given up acting, the storyline is hideously bad and the film looks like it was a made by someone who failed A Level film studies. There was at least potential for this to have the so-good-it-is-bad factor, unfortunately it just a hideously dull experience that makes those at The Asylum look like world class auteurs.

To read my full review, click here

3. Dog Eat Dog

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Oh, what has happened to Paul Schrader? A man that wrote some classic and iconic screenplays and directed some decent films seems to have forgotten how to make a film. Dog Eat Dog is a hideous viewing experience; it has a terrible and badly told story, and deeply unlikeable characters, but Schrader’s direction and choice of visuals makes the film unwatchable at times. Dog Eat Dog is basically anti-cinema and must be avoided by both film lovers and all sentient beings.

To read my full review, click here

2. Dirty Grandpa

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Many films are rubbish and boring, and therefore usually forgotten in an instant. However, sometimes a film can really leave a vile taste in the mouth and the viewing experience can be so horrible that the viewer will take a fair while to recover as what has just been witnessed is an insult to the intelligence of sentient beings, and indeed cinema itself. Well, Dirty Grandpa is such a film – it is vile and nasty, with every line of hideous dialogue enough to make even the most tolerant individual lose faith in not only cinema, but all humanity. What is worst of all is that the very likeable Zac Efron and the screen legend that is Robert De Niro are the ones saying this repulsive dialogue!

To read my full review, click here

1. The Neon Demon

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Like most of Nicolas Winding Refn’s films, The Neon Demon proved to be very divisive, and I am sure there will be as many that will have it in their best of the year lists as there will be in their worst of the year lists. Well, for me it is without a doubt the worst film I have seen all year and I do truly struggle to find superlatives that actually sum up my total and utter hatred for this film. I of course appreciate that film is very much subjective, and that is of course a very good thing, but for me The Neon Demon is the most self-indulgent piece of pretentious rubbish I have seen for a very long time, and is even bad by Refn’s incredibly low standards.

Some say it is vacuous and empty on purpose, and that this is some kind of point that it is trying to make, well that is not good enough for me; A film can adopt this intentional style but still have an intelligent point with actual substance at its core, but all this film as is a very simple notion that we are all very much aware of anyway. Some have praised the fact it references loads of classic horror films, well that just either makes Refn a lazy plagiarist or a very, very poor man’s Peter Strickland!

Elle Fanning admittedly puts in a great performance, but that is the only good thing about this horrific piece of anti-cinema – it is such a mind numbingly dull and pointless experience, that it is enough to put some off films forever. Nicolas Winding Refn needs to stop being allowed to make films!

To read my full review, click here

What are your most unpleasant viewing experiences of 2016? If they do not appear on the list, I may not have seen them yet, so please be a decent citizen and warn me!

About MoodyB

An extremely passionate and (semi) opened minded film reviewer, with a hint of snobbish.
This entry was posted in All Film Reviews, Blockbusters, Films to Avoid, Major Dissapointments, Rants and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to 2016 IN REVIEW: MY WORST 15 FILMS OF 2016

  1. Natasha says:

    Sorry you had to see these! They all look so rotten 😶

  2. dbmoviesblog says:

    I agree with you 100% on the Neon Demon. For me, it was also one of the worst of the year.

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